probably not

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-11-05T11:50:00

2009-11-05T16:50:55Z

I'll try not to take it to heart.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-11-04T12:00:00

2009-11-04T17:00:34Z

i need to stop rub rub rubbing my eyesss

i wrote this on the bus today.

2009-10-19T19:15:36Z

And in every inch of you I see little bits of me. Carefully placed with a certain forthrightness, well planned and with much deliberation on my part. And all at once I could feel your little bits in every inch of me. Carefully scrutinized and sequenced; and they fit just right. To me it always seems like you're never on time. never exactly early or late, and just slightly askew. And these are my favorite parts of you. Lately I honestly believe some things on this planet aren't meant to be explained, understood or analyzed. 'cause if they were, this place might get pretty fucking boring. And I'm tired of being distracted, preoccupied or just fucking tired. And to me it always seems like you're never on time, never exactly early or late. And you always fit just right.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-10-02T15:48:00

2009-10-02T19:57:01Z

I love that you love what you do so much. And that we don't mind waking up at six or seven A.M. And that we're both so tired but we don't care because we're happy, and I mean really happy. The kind of infallible happiness that one could only find in keeping busy and exhausting each days potential. I like watching movies with you every night even though we're both perfectly aware well be asleep before the fifth or sixth scene. I like picking you up from work. I like making you dinner. I like you making me dinner. I like us making dinner together. I like coffee dates and walks through harvard in the fall and well, I just like you, Love you.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-09-28T15:34:00

2009-09-28T19:36:07Z

I think it a safe assumption to make when I say we miss those better days, before we were faced with the harsh realities of everyday life.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-08-23T18:03:00

2009-08-23T22:04:44Z

uncompromising

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-08-04T22:18:00

2009-08-05T02:15:56Z

the man who sells me my drugs is a ghost.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-07-10T00:15:00

2009-07-10T04:26:24Z

i had always assumed that maybe, somewhere not far off, things would be better.

everything i love is making cute noises.

2009-06-26T03:49:45Z

So currently, I am living in the scenic White Mountains of New Hampshire, with Jaqui and our cat. We're thinking of naming her montana. (Not to be affiliated with Hannah). I'm eating honey nut tasteos, sitting in the bathroom because that's really the only place we get the internet.) This september there's an apartment waiting for me (along with five roommates) in the lower parts of Allston so that should be fun. The lease is roughly a year long so I'm chained to the dirty dirty streets of Boston until August of 2010, and then after that who knows what might happen! All is well.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-06-11T22:47:00

2009-06-12T02:52:25Z

you bring up this idea of "never settling" as if it's a bad thing. And i've spent my entire life trying to achieve higher standards of living, but whenever I managed to get my hopes up they'd come crashing down shortly thereafter. So i took a while to appreciate the lesser things in life. Then along came you, this beautiful little flower of a girl who could turn my stomach in knots with a single look. you took my breath away, honestly, and before I had time to catch it again It's nine months later and you've still got that same ole "it's okay, we're okay, everything's okay" smile that I fell so fucking hard for in the first place. The woods are screaming soliloquies and all we need do now is to stand for a moment and appreciate their fleeting beauty.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-06-10T11:05:00

2009-06-10T15:07:11Z

it's the early afternoon and here I am again listening to that first mix you made me. I can still remember the feeling of that place. Boston in the fall, what a memorable experience. It's something I don't plan on ever letting go of.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-04-24T11:18:00

2009-04-24T15:19:51Z

there's this terrible falling apart all around me
these foundations serve no purpose anymore.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-04-20T23:05:00

2009-04-21T03:11:21Z

sometimes we just need to show that we have a little fight.
that tiny gleam in your eye that screams i'm not giving up
it's as though this is all we have left, the only thing to raise our voices for
and we'll proudly fuck up over and over again,
running blindly in whatever direction we feel is right.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-04-10T18:19:00

2009-04-10T22:21:55Z

sometimes we are just too blind to see
or too proud to listen.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-04-06T16:38:00

2009-04-06T20:40:07Z

I need to get myself out of this fucking rut. I need to reconnect with old friends. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start looking on the bright side of things. If it were that easy, It'd be done already.

believe me.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-03-24T23:08:00

2009-03-25T03:07:29Z

i want to become the best i can be, whatever that is.

foryou

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-03-17T13:26:00

2009-03-17T17:29:43Z

there's so much at stake here.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-03-16T01:21:00

2009-03-16T05:39:52Z

and i can't ignore the fact that everyone around me is capable of doing what they have to, yet i still have trouble getting out of bed in the morning.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-03-13T17:15:00

2009-03-13T21:19:33Z

They come in one's, two's and three's
and I just can't let my head get the best of me.
Set adrift amongst a slew of intellectuals and
so-called independent thinkers.
I'm almost positive I'll drown before we reach the shore.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-03-09T14:27:00

2009-03-09T18:28:04Z

just waitin' for the phone to ring.

i miss you more than is necessary or logical.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-03-08T14:30:00

2009-03-08T18:31:04Z

what is happening?

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-03-06T23:45:00

2009-03-07T05:01:10Z

my head is spinning

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-03-05T23:05:00

2009-03-06T04:21:15Z

I already knew I'd fallen apart

I need to stop quoting P.B.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-02-24T15:21:00

2009-02-24T20:38:36Z

we suffered a great loss. but no one else seemed to care.
and then the world was turned upside down
for a moment or two...

give it your best shot, that's all i have to say.

bleedthiscolour @ 2009-02-13T19:09:00

2009-02-14T00:28:21Z

lately i don't hold myself in such high regards
and to be honest, sometimes I wish I were dead.
but it's not like it's the end of the world, right?
I found myself staring out of wide open 10th story windows
wondering how long it would take to hit the ground
or if anyone would even miss me at all.
The cool february breeze kissing my face
and the people below barely even noticed me.